|
Welcome to your unemotional side!
I urge you to use the underlined link word method of exploring the emotional feelings network of sites by clicking
on any of the underlined link words that will further explain a connection to the subject you are here studying. For a complete
description of the underlined link word system: click here.
If you don't see what you were looking for - please access the homepage for a menu of the other sites within the network that might lead you to where you want to be!
The following information was found at www.coping.org. This website has been perhaps, my favorite website, especially in the feelings and emotions category.
Visit the website regularly because you'll find a wealth of opportunity there! Thank you coping.org
for allowing non-profits to post your information!
Unhealthy Environments-Roots
of Low Self-Esteem
Characteristics
of unhealthy environments which contribute to low self-esteem.
Common characteristics of families, schools, work places, or community organizations
which are unhealthy or dysfunctional environments include:
 Conditions which make environments unhealthy or dysfunctional
- 1 or more members is alcoholic or dependent on drugs and the others protect the users
- 1 or more members is addicted to food, gambling, sex, or to some other form of dependent behavior and the others protect the users
- 1 or more member is materialistic and values "things'' to the exclusion of "persons''
- 1 or more member is suffering from a mental illness and the others don't deal well this
- A major disaster befalls the environment:
- death of a member
- facility destroyed
either due to act of God or of man
- a member is
murdered, raped, or is critically injured
- a major accident
result in permanent disability or death
- severe financial
problems, e.g., bankruptcy, long periods of unemployment, poverty
- 1 or more member is a physical, emotional, or sexual abuser of the others
- 1 or more members is a workaholic
Specifically within families:
- 1 or more members is rigid in the expression of feelings or emotions with the others
- 1 or more members is incapable of displaying physical affection openly to the others
- 1 or more members is incapable of developing an intimate relationship with the others
- A child with a developmental disability is born into the environment
- The environment is forced into a "single parent'' model due to divorce, death or the excessive traveling of a spouse
- A major illness befalls a
environment member, resulting in permanent disability or chronic illness
Common rules in an unhealthy environments
First, each member of the environment should feel guilt:
Behavior Pattern
Feels Guilty About
Looking good
Acting-out
Pulling-In
-
not being acceptable to the other members of the environment
Entertaining
Enabling
-
not being able to solve the problems in the environment
Troubled Person
-
the problems they have that cause the others grief and pain
Rescuing
-
not being able to help enough to save others from pain and hurt
People pleasing
-
not being "good enough'' to make other people happy
Non-feeling
How to Role play dysfunctional elements in an unhealthy environment
Here's an activity you can do with your friends or support group that will allow you all to experience feelings present in dysfunctional and
unhealthy environments. Try this role-playing activity whenever you
or one of your friends or support group members needs to see a 3 dimensional reproduction of a dysfunctional environment. This can give the insight needed for change in behavior, feelings and attitudes in order to pursue healthier behavior in your current life.
Environmental Role-Play Activity
DIRECTIONS:
1. Choose different people to play the role of each member of
your environment.
2. Tell each player
their name, what relationship they are to you (e.g., co-worker, supervisor, manager, father, mother, brother,
sister, etc.) and what
role or attitude they brought to the environment using the roles for environmental role playing.
3. Choose people
to play the "sick'' behavior, dead or absent people, responsibilities, or other relevant issues in the environment.
4. Ask each of the players to assume a position that is
appropriate to their role.
5. Ask them to hold
the positions for about 5 minutes and then ask each one of them how it feels to be in that role.
6. Now ask them to
re-enact a specific time in your life in the specific environment which you're role-playing, that you remember graphically
and that seems to lie at the basis of a current feeling of pain or hurt.
7. As this aspect
of your life is re-enacted, tune into your feelings. With the help of your group, try to figure out what those feelings tell you and what you need to work on to attain healthy life.
8. It's useful to
have a professional mental health counselor or psycho-dramatist lead this role-playing activity so that all involved can obtain the optimal benefit from the experience.
Roles for Environmental Role Playing
Roles
Non-verbal Script
Looking good or rescuing or people-pleasing: keeps the other person from getting mad, hurt, angry, etc. Always agrees with others, says "yes" to everything.
Troubled person or enabling: Fault finding, acting superior, a dictator, a boss, being disagreeable.
Non-feeling or pulling-in: ultra-reasonable, always very correct, showing no feelings. Always calm, cool and collected. Their goal is to never make a mistake.
-
Keep everything about you as motionless as possible. Try
hard to keep perfectly stiff and tight. Straighten up your back and stand erect. Head and chin up. Look perfect!
Entertaining or acting-out: does or says things that are irrelevant.
Non-communicator
Authoritarian
Childlike perspective
Indifference or rejection
-
Look over the person's shoulder with whom you're communicating breaking eye contact.
Attention seeking
Acceptance
Non-listener
Person with a "sick'' behavior
Victim
Responsibility
-
Have a different person represent each thing for which a person feels responsible or obligated. Hang each person onto that person by holding on to an arm, hand, leg, neck, shoulder, or foot.
Dead, missing or divorced person
Close-knit members
Distance between members
Supportive
-
Put hand on shoulder of person being supported.
Denial, secret keeping, or ignoring problems
Mask
-
Smile a big Cheshire cat smile. Look happy no matter what happens in family!
2. Was your work environment unhealthy
and dysfunctional?
In your journal answer these questions:
1. List each
of the places of employment you worked at in your life and target a work environment which you think was unhealthy and dysfunctional for you
2. List which characteristics
of unhealthy or dysfunctional environments were true for the target work place.
3. List which conditions
of unhealthy
or dysfunctional environments existed in your target work place.
4. List the following information for members of your
target work place that you remember:
- What "sick,''
unhealthy, or maladaptive
behavior they had or currently have
- What "roles''
they played in the dysfunctional work setting
- How they appeared
to the world
- What physical
characteristics made them stand out in your work setting
5. List the negative consequences or unproductive behavior your work mates experienced from being in this work environment.
6. List what rules
of unhealthy
environments were true for your target work place.
7. List how each
member handled guilt.
8. List the hidden feelings each member was most likely experiencing in your target work place.
9. List those feelings that:
- you experienced
in your target work place when you were there
- you experience
when you return "home'' to visit with your target work place
- you're currently
experiencing as you work on this exercise.
10. List which of
your current problem personality traits you believe are the result of being involved in your target dysfunctional target work place.
11. List
the signs of the need for help for you in order to redirect your life to better health.
3. Was your family unhealthy or dysfunctional? In your journal answer these questions:
1. Supply the following information for
yourself:
- Father's
name and age he married mom
- Mother's
name and age she married dad
- Brothers'
names and birth dates
- Sisters' names and birth dates
- Names
and birth dates of any relatives who lived with your family of origin
- Date
parents married
- Date
parents divorced (if they did)
- Date
parent(s) died (if they did)
- What
parent(s) died of
- Age
parent(s) died
- Date
parent(s) remarried (if they did)
- Names
of stepparent(s) (if they exist)
2. List the following information for each of your family members:
- What
"sick," unhealthy, or maladaptive behavior they had or currently have
- What
"roles" they played in the family
- How
they appeared to the world
- What
physical characteristics made them stand out in your family
- For
the list of you and your siblings
- educational accomplishments
- work history
and current career status
- marital history
and current family make up
- What physical illnesses or conditions each family member may have
- If any family members have died, when did they and why did they die?
3. List which characteristics of unhealthy or dysfunctional families were true for your family of origin.
4. List which conditions of unhealthy or dysfunctional environments existed in your family.
5. List the negative consequences or unproductive behavior each of your family members experienced from living in your family.
6. List what rules of unhealthy environments were true for your family of origin.
7. List how each family member handled guilt.
8. List the hidden feelings each family member was most likely experiencing in your family of origin.
9. List those feelings that:
- you experienced
in your family of origin when you lived in it
- you experience
when you return "home'' to visit with your family of origin
- you're currently
experiencing as you work on this exercise.
10. List which of your current problem personality traits you believe are the result of being reared in your dysfunctional family.
11. List which of your current
problem behavior traits are also current problem behavior traits for your parents and siblings.
12. List the signs of the need for help for you and your family members in order to redirect your lives to better health.
13. Compare your family of origin with the families of origin of your father and mother. List the similarities
of dysfunctional elements shared by these 3 families.
14. Compare your family of origin with your current nuclear family. List the similarities of dysfunctional elements shared by your 2 families.
15. Compare your family of origin with the family of origin of your current spouse (if you're married) or with the family of origin of your former
spouse(s). List the similarities of dysfunction shared by your family of origin, current family and the family of your spouse(s).
16. Look at your spouse (current or former) and list the dysfunctional elements that the spouse brought to your relationship. Compare them to the dysfunctional elements you brought to the relationship.
17. What was it about your spouse(s) that attracted you?
-
How aware were you both of the dysfunctional elements in both of your backgrounds before getting involved with each other?
18. What age were you when you first realized there were problems:
- in
your family of origin
- in
your marital relationship
- in
your current family?
19. What were the signs of trouble? How did you deal or cope with the problem? What problems are still causing you stress and trouble today?
Handling the Need to Control
Need to Control: A Self-Assessment
DIRECTIONS: Review the following reasons you may feel the need to control people, place and things in your life. Put an "X'' next to those reasons usually true for you.
_ 1. If you control other people, they'll do what you want them to do.
_2. It's a way to
keep everything orderly, precise and predictable, so that you don't go crazy or insane.
_ 3. You hate to be out of control or to lose your control.
_4. If things don't go your way, then you feel you'll have to work harder or have to struggle to reorganize
and correct them.
_ 5. You have a hard time seeing
people you care for hurting because their lives are out of control.
_ 6. You hate to have people see your true feelings especially if they're angry, unpleasant, or negative so you struggle to control them and keep them in so as not to upset others.
_7. You're on the watch for being taken advantage of by others.
_ 8.
You're afraid of being manipulated or led into doing something you really don't want to do.
_9.
When you see something or someone who needs to be fixed, you often step in.
_10. You came from a dysfunctional or crazy home life and you have no desire to repeat it in your current home life.
_11. You have an image, dream, or ideal of the way things are supposed to be and you work at trying to get it to
be that way.
_12. You're afraid that if you don't take care of things, things will never get done.
_13.
You feel if "you
don't do it, then no one will.''
_14. You're afraid that everything you've worked for will be lost, so you take control to ensure this doesn't happen.
_15. When you feel intimidated, you compensate by taking more control of the situation.
_16. You find it difficult not to help when you're presented with a person or thing which appears helpless and out of control.
_17. You tend to hold to an "it's my way or the highway'' approach with people who don't do what you want them to
do. You hope this will ensure they change their bad behaviors.
_18. You're frightened, scared, or nervous when things seem to be crazy or out of control so your first impulse is to take charge.
_19. You want everybody in your immediate life to be happy and you'll do whatever it takes to make it so.
_20. You know how hard life can be on those who go into it unprepared and unaware, so you do whatever it takes to make sure the people you care for aren't taken advantage of.
INTERPRETATION: If
you checked 3 or more, you have a tendency to over-control the people, places and things in your life.
The above information was found at www.coping.org. This website has been perhaps, my favorite website, especially in the feelings and emotions category.
Visit the website regularly because you'll find a wealth of opportunity there! Thank you coping.org
for allowing non-profits to post your information!
|
 |
|
This information goes with the information from www.coping.org that is in the left hand column.
Common personality traits of people in dysfunctional environments
There are 3 seminal
works on dysfunctional families that discuss a variety of roles in these families.
The books are
- Peoplemaking by Satir,(Science & Behavior Books, Inc..)
- Another Chance: Hope and Health for the Alcoholic Environment
by Sharon Wegschieder-Cruse (1981, Science and Behavior Books, Inc.)
- It will Never Happen to Me by
Claudia Black (1981, MAC Publications).
These 3 sources were used to the concepts
of personality traits of members who come from unhealthy or dysfunctional environments not only families but also schools, businesses, churches and other community organizations.
The following are descriptions of the 9 personality traits most commonly occurring in dysfunctional or unhealthy environments. It will be noted which of the roles were identified by the original authors as being related to these
behavioral patterns.
All persons in
a dysfunctional environments have the potential for these nine personality traits. Due to their response to stress in the environment, one or more of these patterns can emerge as dominant.
The dominant pattern or trait can change at any time, however, depending on the status of the environment and the members' functioning within it.
These personality traits are self-scripts carried by the members of the
unhealthy environment, school, business, or organization for perhaps their entire lives.
When people who have changed from these compulsive unhealthy personality traits establish families of their own, they can hand down these behavioral traits, thus incurring cross generational transmission
of these traits, patterns, roles and characteristics.
The 9 personality traits in dysfunctional environments are:
1. Looking good:
an over-responsible pattern of high achievement and denial of the environments problems.
It contains the elements of the hero of Wegscheider-Cruse,
the responsible one and placator of Black and the placator of Satir.
2. Acting-out: an irresponsible pattern of low achievement and much trouble making that diverts attention from the troubles in the environment.
It contains the elements of the scapegoat of Wegscheider-Cruse,
the acting-out child of Black and the distractor and blamer of Satir.
3. Pulling-in: the withdrawn behavioral pattern
of a loner who resorts to a low profile to hold in emotions in order to survive in the high stress environment.
It contains the elements of the lost child of Wegscheider-Cruse,
the adjuster of Black and the computer of Satir.
4. Entertaining: a diversionary pattern of drawing attention away by clowning, amusing, hyperactivity, or ill health.
It contains the elements of the mascot of Wegscheider-Cruse,
the acting-out child of Black and the distractor of Satir.
5. Troubled Person: an irresponsible pattern of problem behavior, often the cause and focus of great stress in the environment.
It contains the elements of the lost person and
dependent of Wegscheider-Cruse, the alcoholic or dependent of Black and blamer of Satir.
6. Enabling: an over-responsible pattern of protecting, assisting and cajoling the troubled person so as to reduce the stress in the environment.
It contains the elements of the enabler of Wegscheider-Cruse,
the non-alcoholic spouse of Black and the placator and blamer of Satir.
7. Rescuing: an over-responsible pattern of helping others in the environment so as to reduce the tension, anxiety, hurt and pain.
It contains the elements of the hero and enabler
of Wegscheider-Cruse, the placator of Black and the placator of Satir.
8. People Pleasing: an over-responsible, approval seeking pattern characterized by excessive social appropriateness and immobilized decision making.
It contains the elements of the hero of Wegscheider-Cruse,
the responsible one and placator of Black and the placator of Satir.
9. Non-feeling: a non-emotive, stoic pattern of denial of problems and feelings that assists an individual in surviving the high stress environment.
This
pattern is related to the concept of Alexathemia, which is the absence of feeling or emotionally laden vocabulary or experience. This pattern contains
elements of the lost child and hero of Wegscheider-Cruse, the adjustor of Black and the computer
of Satir.
Other rules in unhealthy environments include:
- Every member of the environment should
experience anger but should stifle it or stuff it in.
- Every environment member should have low
self-esteem.
- Every environment member should feel
insecure, uncomfortable and off balance.
- There should be incomplete, unsatisfactory,
poor communication between environment members.
- Honesty and candor should be stifled for the sake of peace and harmony in the environment.
- Everyone should always be on guard
and they should always prove their worth to each other.
- No one should be given acceptance unconditionally. They should only receive acceptance and love based on meeting specific conditions or expectations.
- No one is allowed to give up their
expected or anticipated role, personality trait, or behavioral pattern they've adopted in the environment.
- Don't say anything to anyone else
unless it's nice, pleasant and non-confrontational.
- Avoid conflicts at all costs; lie if you must to avoid conflicts.
- Every environment member should stifle,
control and keep their feelings to themselves.
- Adults are the only ones who know
anything; the input of children is useless.
- Don't change anything in the environment, the goal of the environment is to maintain the status quo.
- There are taboo topics never to be
discussed in this environment. These topics include sex, drugs, alcohol, birth control, quarreling among the members and the
excessive or compulsive behavior of individual environment members.
- Someone has to feel like a winner
after any disagreement, argument, or fight; there should never be a complete resolution of these events.
- No one has permission to grow or
change in this environment.
- The outside world should see this
environment only as the "perfect, all American" environment.
- There's no need to hold back physical or emotional punishment if someone has done
wrong. All wrong doers deserve to be punished.
- Each environment member plays an expected role in the environment;
this provides the environment with some sense and order.
Common feelings experienced in dysfunctional environments
How to identify if you have been a part of unhealthy environments
Was your school environment unhealthy and dysfunctional?
In your journal
answer these questions:
1. List each of the schools you attended in
your life and target a school environment which you think was unhealthy and dysfunctional for you
2. List
which characteristics of unhealthy or dysfunctional environments were true for the target school.
3. List
which conditions of unhealthy or dysfunctional environments existed in your target school.
4. List the following information
for members of your target school that you remember:
- What "sick,'' unhealthy, or maladaptive behavior they had or currently have
- What
"roles'' they played in the dysfunctional school setting
- How they appeared to the world
- What physical characteristics made them stand out in your school
5. List
the negative consequences or unproductive behavior your school mates experienced from being in this school environment.
6. List
what rules of unhealthy environments were true for your target school.
7. List
how each member handled guilt.
8. List
the hidden feelings each member was most likely experiencing in your target school.
9. List those feelings that:
- you
experienced in your target school when you were there
- you
experience when you return "home'' to visit with your target school
- you're currently experiencing as you work on this exercise.
10. List which of your current problem personality traits you believe are the result of being involved in your target dysfunctional school.
11. List
the signs of the need for help for you in order to redirect your life to better health.
Healthy Vs. Unhealthy Relationships
Being in a HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP means …
-
Loving and taking care of yourself, before and while in a relationship.
-
Respecting individuality, embracing differences, and allowing each person to "be themselves."
-
Doing things with friends and family and having activities
independent of each other.
-
Discussing things, allowing for differences of opinion, and compromising equally.
-
Expressing and listening to each other's feelings, needs, and desires.
-
Trusting and being honest with yourself and each other.
-
Respecting each other's need for privacy.
-
Sharing sexual histories and sexual health status with a partner.
-
Practicing safer sex methods.
-
Respecting sexual boundaries and being able to say no to sex.
-
Resolving conflicts in a rational peaceful, and mutually agreed upon way.
-
There is room for positive growth and you learn more about each other as you develop and mature.
If you are in an UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP …
-
You care for and focus on another person only and neglect yourself or you focus only on yourself and neglect the other person.
-
You feel pressure to change to meet the other person's standards, you are afraid to disagree, and your ideas or criticized. Or, you pressure the other person to meet your standards and criticize his/her ideas.
-
One of you has to justify what you do, where you go, and who you see.
-
One of you makes all the decisions
and controls everything without listening to the other's input.
-
One of you feels unheard and
is unable to communicate what you want.
-
You lie to each other and
find yourself making excuses for the other person.
-
You don't have any personal
space and have to share everything with the other person.
-
Your partner keeps his/her
sexual history a secret or hides a sexually transmitted infection from you or you do not disclose your history to your partner.
-
You feel scared of asking your partner to use protection or s/he has refused your requests for safer sex. Or, you refuse to use safer sex methods after your partner has requested or you make your partner feel scared.
-
Your partner has forced you
to have sex or you have had sex when you don't really want to. Or, you have forced or coerced your partner to have sex.
-
One or both of you yells and
hits, shoves or throws things at the other in an argument.
-
You feel stifled, trapped, and stagnant. You are unable to escape the pressures of the relationship.
source site: click here
Healthy vs. unhealthy
relationships 
Originally Published: January 22, 1999 ~ Last Updated / Reviewed on: October 17, 2007
Dear Alice,
What are some ways to identify
and deal with unhealthy relationships? And what strategies can people use to enhance relationships?
What are some internal and external support resources that are available for people dealing with unhealthy relationships?
Dear Reader,
Throughout our lives, we are
involved with many different kinds of relationships. We have friendships, romances, work and school-related connections, familial ties, and, quite often, relations that defy categorization. Each of these situations has the potential to enrich
us, adding to our feelings of self-worth, enjoyment, and growth. These relationships are healthy.
On the other hand, in other
situations, we may find ourselves feeling uncomfortable. It can be difficult to come to the realization that a lover, friend, colleague, or family member is not treating us with
the respect we deserve.
Keep in mind that in all kinds
of kinships, there is likely to be some disagreement, need for compromise, and times of frustration. These alone do not necessarily indicate that a relationship is unhealthy. Here are some
things to think about when considering whether a particular bond is a healthy one or not:
In a healthy relationship, you:
- Treat each other with respect
- Feel secure and comfortable
- Are not violent with each
other
- Can resolve conflicts satisfactorily
- Enjoy the time you spend
together
- Support one another
- Take interest in one another's
lives: health, family, work, etc.
- Have privacy in the relationship
- Can trust each other
- Are each sexual by choice
- Communicate clearly and openly
- Have letters, phone calls,
and e-mail that are your own
- Make healthy decisions about alcohol or other drugs
- Encourage other friendships
- Are honest about your past and present sexual activity if the relationship is intimate
- Know that most people in
your life are happy about the relationship
- Have more good times in the
relationship than bad
In an unhealthy relationship, one
or both of you:
- Try to control or manipulate
the other
- Make the other feel bad about
her-/himself
- Ridicule or call names
- Dictate how the other dresses
- Do not make time for each
other
- Criticize the other's friends
- Are afraid of the other's
temper
- Discourage the other from
being close with anyone else
- Ignore each other when one
is speaking
- Are overly possessive or
get jealous about ordinary behavior
- Criticize or support others in criticizing people with your gender, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, religion, disability, or other personal
attribute
- Control the other's money
or other resources (e.g., car)
- Harm or threaten to harm
children, family, pets, or objects of personal value
- Push, grab, hit, punch, or
throw objects
- Use physical force or threats
to prevent the other from leaving
Sometimes it's not so easy
to decide if a troublesome tie should be maintained the way it is, worked on, or ended before it goes any further. One thing
to consider is if the relationship was ever different than it is now. Is there something stressful happening that could be impacting the way you interact?
Maybe money is tight, you've
moved, are looking for work, are dealing with a difficult family circumstance, or are going through some other kind of transition.
Or maybe there are problems from a while back that were never resolved, and are now resurfacing.
What in particular is bothering you,
and what would you like to see change? Talk over these questions with each other, or with someone you trust, like a friend, teacher, or counselor. Think about what, if anything, you can each do to make the other feel more comfortable in the relationship.
If a partner, friend, or colleague
is harming you or your loved ones physically, emotionally, or sexually, it's time to seek help. If s/he is encouraging other
harmful behaviors, like abuse of alcohol or other drugs, unsafe sexual activity, or other activities that make you feel uncomfortable, you have a right to leave.
There are a lot of resources
available to help you. Perhaps the most important thing to do is to trust your instincts and the people close to you whose opinions you trust and value. Each and every one of us deserves to feel safe, valued, and cared for.
Keep in mind that one of the
strongest signs of a healthy relationship is that both people involved feel good about themselves. Also, by treating yourself with self-respect and believing in your right to be treated well, you are taking important steps towards developing equitable, mutually fulfilling ties in the future.
- Alice
P.S.: If you or someone you
know needs help with an unhealthy relationship, the following organizations can provide
information and support. At Columbia, you can call Counseling and Psychological Services (CPS) at x4-2878, Barnard Health and Mental Health Services
at x4-2091, Nightline (confidential peer counseling) at x4-7777, or the Barnard-Columbia Rape Crisis/Anti-Violence Support
Center at x4-HELP (-4357).
|
|
|
|
|
How Worrying Affects Your Body
Are you an excessive worrier? Perhaps you subconsciously think that if you “worry enough,” you can prevent bad things from happening. But the fact is worrying can affect your
body in ways that may surprise you. When worrying becomes excessive, it can lead to feelings of high anxiety and even cause you to be physically ill.
What happens with excessive worrying?
Worrying is feeling uneasy or being overly concerned about a situation or problem. With excessive worrying, your mind and body go into overdrive as you constantly focus on “what
might happen.”
In the midst of excessive worrying, you may suffer
with high anxiety - even panic - during all your waking hours. Many chronic worriers tell of feeling a sense of impending doom or unrealistic fears that only increase their worries. Ultra-sensitive to their environment and to the criticism of others, excessive worriers may see anything - and anyone - as a potential threat.
Chronic worrying affects your daily life so much
that it interferes with your:
-
appetite
-
lifestyle habits
-
relationships
-
sleep
-
job performance
Many people who worry excessively are so anxiety-ridden that they seek relief in harmful lifestyle habits such as:
-
overeating
-
eating junk food
-
cigarette smoking
-
using alcohol and drugs
Anxiety is a normal reaction to stress. Ongoing anxiety, though, may be the result of a disorder such as:
- generalized anxiety disorder
- panic disorder
- social anxiety
Anxiety disorders are commonplace in the U.S., affecting nearly
40 million adults. Anxiety manifests itself in multiple ways and does not discriminate by age, gender or race.
Stressful events such as a test or a job interview can make
anyone feel a bit anxious. And sometimes, a little worry or anxiety is helpful. It can help you get ready for an upcoming situation. For instance, if you’re preparing for a job interview,
a little worry or anxiety may push you to find out more about the position. Then you can present yourself more professionally to the potential employer.
Worrying about a test may help you study more and be more prepared on test day.
But excessive worriers react quickly and intensely to these
stressful situations or triggers. Even thinking about the situation can cause chronic worriers great distress and disability. Excessive worry or ongoing fear or anxiety is harmful when it becomes so irrational that you can’t focus on reality or think clearly. People with high anxiety have difficulty shaking their worries. When that happens, they may experience actual physical symptoms.
Can excessive worrying and anxiety cause a stress response?
Stress comes from the demands and pressures we experience
each day. Long lines at the grocery store, rush hour traffic, a phone ringing nonstop, or a chronic illness are all examples
of things that can cause stress on a daily basis. When worries and anxiety become excessive, chances are you’ll trigger the stress response.
There are two elements to the stress response. The first is the perception of the challenge. The second is an automatic physiological reaction called the “fight
or flight” response that brings on a surge of adrenaline and sets your body on “red alert.” There was a
time when the “fight or flight” response protected our ancestors from such dangers as wild animals that could
easily make a meal out of them. Although we don’t ordinarily encounter wild animals we need to run from today, dangers
still exist. They’re there in the form of a demanding coworker, a colicky baby, or a dispute with a loved one.
Can excessive worrying make me physically ill?
Chronic worrying and emotional stress can trigger a host of health problems. The problem occurs when fight or flight is triggered daily by excessive worrying and
anxiety. The fight or flight response causes the body’s sympathetic nervous system to release stress hormones such as cortisol. These hormones can boost blood sugar levels and triglycerides (blood
fats) that can be used by the body for fuel. The hormones also cause physical reactions such as:
- difficulty swallowing
- dizziness
- dry mouth
- fast heartbeat
- fatigue
- headaches
- inability to concentrate
- irritability
- muscle aches
- muscle tension
- nausea
- nervous energy
- rapid breathing
- shortness of breath
- sweating
- trembling and twitching
When the excessive fuel in the blood isn’t used for
physical activities, the chronic anxiety and outpouring of stress hormones can have serious physical consequences, including:
- suppression of the immune system
- digestive disorders
- muscle tension
- short-term memory loss
- premature coronary artery disease
- heart attack
In severe cases when excessive worrying and high anxiety go untreated, they can lead to depression and even suicidal thoughts.
Although these effects are a response to stress, stress is simply the trigger. Whether or not you become ill depends on how you handle stress. Physical responses to stress involve your immune system, your heart and blood vessels, and how certain glands in your body
secrete hormones. These hormones help to regulate various functions in your body, such as brain function and nerve impulses.
All of these systems interact and are profoundly influenced
by your coping style and your psychological state. It isn’t the stress that makes you ill. Rather, it’s the effect responses such
as excessive worrying and anxiety have on these various interacting systems that can bring on the physical illness. There are things you can do, though, including
lifestyle changes, to alter the way you respond.
What lifestyle changes might help excessive worriers?
Although excessive worrying and high anxiety can cause an imbalance in your body, there are many options you have that can re-establish harmony of mind, body, and spirit.
- Talk to your doctor. Start by talking with your primary
care physician. Get a thorough physical examination to make sure other health problems are not fueling your feelings of anxiety. Your doctor may prescribe medication such as anti-anxiety drugs or antidepressants to help you self-manage your anxiety and excessive worrying.
- Exercise daily. With your doctor’s approval,
begin a regular exercise program. Without question, the chemicals produced during moderate exercise can be extremely beneficial
in terms of enhancing the function of the immune system. Regular aerobic and strengthening exercise is also a very effective
way to train your body to deal with stress under controlled circumstances.
- Eat a healthy, balanced diet. Stress and worrying provoke some people to eat too little, others too much, or to eat unhealthy
foods. Keep your health in mind when worrying nudges you toward the fridge.
- Drink caffeine in moderation. Caffeine stimulates the
nervous system, which can trigger adrenaline and make you feel nervous and jittery.
- Be conscious of your worries. Set aside 15 minutes
each day where you allow yourself to focus on problems and fears - and then vow to let them go after the 15 minutes is up. Some people wear a rubber band on their wrist and “pop”
the rubber band if they find themselves going into their “worry mode.” Do whatever you can to remind yourself
to stop dwelling on worries.
- Learn to relax. Relaxation techniques can trigger the
relaxation response - a physiological state characterized by a feeling of warmth and quiet mental alertness. This is the opposite of the “fight or flight” response. Relaxation techniques
can offer a real potential to reduce anxiety and worries. They can also increase your ability to self-manage stress. With relaxation, blood flow to the brain increases and brain waves shift from an alert, beta rhythm to a relaxed, alpha
rhythm. Practiced regularly, relaxation techniques can counteract the debilitating effects of stress. Common relaxation techniques include deep abdominal breathing, meditation, listening to calming music, and activities like
yoga and tai chi.
- Meditate. Daily meditation - instead of worrying -
may help you move beyond negative thoughts and allow you to become “unstuck” from worries that keep your body on high alert. With meditation, you purposefully
pay attention to what is happening at the present moment without thinking of the past or future. Meditation decreases hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline, which are released during the “fight
or flight” or stress response.
- Have a strong social network. Loneliness may be as much a risk factor for disease as having high cholesterol or smoking cigarettes. People who are happily married and/or have large networks of friends not only have greater life expectancies compared with those people who do not, but
they also have fewer incidences of just about all types of disease.
- Talk to a professional therapist. Psychological counseling can help you develop appropriate coping strategies to deal with issues that trigger excessive worrying. Psychological intervention can give you coping methods that you can use either within or outside other treatment programs. The therapist will help you identify what types of thoughts and beliefs cause the anxiety and then work with you to reduce them. The therapist can help you by suggesting ways that may help you change. But you have to be the one to make the changes. Therapy is only successful if you work on getting better.
source site: click here
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
